Imagining to be
What I was talking about yesterday has the sole purpose to find out who we rally are. To see that we imagining ourselves to be somebody we are not and to enabling us to let the illusion go.
Again this is an in between truth but to get to be able to understand the bigger picture we have to make little steps. First we have to understand that we are not victims. Nothing happens to us, there are no accidents. We make it happen. Are we aware of what we are doing? This is another question. Because of that it is so important to investigate and to find out what is really going on.
How we imagining ourselves to be creates our reality. Based on our image we either feel we deserve specific things or we don’t. We have certain desires and certain fears.
Based on an experience in my childhood I believed for many years that women don’t like me. The outcome was that until a few years ago every woman I was very attracted to rejected me. Why was that? Subconsciously I always picked the ones that would do that because that. They helped me to validate my assumption. I was living a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Having bad experiences at a young age is so traumatic that we have to excuse what happened to us to be able to survive. We wrap what happens into the idea that it is an action of love. We are convinc ourselves that the person did what he or she carried out to show us how much they love us. The rest of our lives we try to recreate what we lived through. We try to reconstruct being loved.
The daughter of an alcoholic father finds herself an alcoholic husband. Somebody who got sexually abused as a child will find an abusive relationship. Somebody who was not loved by his father or mother finds an emotionally unavailable person of the other sex.
What happened had of course nothing to do with love and to recreate it is very painful for us. At the same time recreating it gives us a feeling of joy a feeling of coming home a feeling of being protected.
It is the same old programming that I have been talking about all along. The goal is to find out what it is and then let go of it since it brings us so much pain and suffering. If we do not to look at this it will run on autopilot until we leave this dimension. I am not saying it will be easy to look at our past but understanding what happened will set us free.
It is also important to look at what we consciously desire or fear.
Years ago I assisted this photographer I hated to work for. He hired me for another job and I really did not want to do it but needed the money. Days before the shoot date I fantasized about getting paid and not having to show up. I never worked that day and still got paid. About 10 minuets into the shoot I slipped, broke one of my fingers and spent the rest of the day in the hospital.
Accepting that we create our own reality is an in between step but an essential one to find out who we really are. Before we can let go of the illusionary reality we have understand that we create it.
"Imagining To Be". Williamsburg/Brooklyn 02-22-08 at 01:20 PM.
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