Escape Darkness

Today I have been writing the blog for two months. I shot 60 images and wrote 60 posts in 60 days. I learned a lot by posting and shooting on a daily basis.

I have been writing a lot about the ego, the letting go of the false illusionary self and what I think our lives would look like after we let go of it. I want clarify why I gave that so much importance. As long we have a self we will be afraid of the future and regret the past. We will be afraid to die and based on that fear we will have to protect the body to ensure survival. This is the source of suffering. When we let go of the self we are free. There is no fear of the future and there is no past since only the self has a past. Then we can enjoy and be in the moment. We can see the beauty of the world in a raindrop or in a sunrise or in a plastic bag entangled in a tree.  This is what happiness and joy really is. And as I am writing this I realize that the moment has no beginning and no end. In the moment we can find real happiness.

All I wrote in these two months was about helping to persue happiness and to escape darkness. I wanted to show what I did to find a little bit more joy in life. It took me some time. I had to face many demons and put my whole life on fire. I wanted to use this blog to tell the world that it can be done and that it is worth more then anything else in the world doing it since on the other side piece, happiness and freedom is waiting for us.

The downside of talking about the illusionary self is that it is very heavy. I have been very serious most of my life. It was all about finding out what is behind the “I”, how to transcend it and so on. That is what I was doing in my fee time while other guys were chasing girls. I missed out on life because of that. Talking about the ego sometimes feels like beating a dead horse. Who cares if I know what the “I” is and what the ego does to suppress who I really am? What is the goal of life? Happiness! Who is happy wins, who isn’t looses.

In my life I have happiness that is independent from the outside. I do not think much about the future and I have let go of most of my past. The irony is that I got there through all the years I missed out by doing my spiritual practices.

I think it is time for me to talk about lighter things, things that make me happy. If anybody has any questions about the ego and how to let go of it I am always here to answer them. There are 60 posts about that theme. Anybody who is interested can read them or read them again.

All the books, ideas and knowledge is great but what can teach us more about life then life itself? I learned a lot by taking the image for today’s post. I was up on my rooftop since I envisioned the image of a flying bird to go with the story. There are many seagulls in the area I live in because I am close to the ocean. But when I got up to the roof there was not even one bird in the sky and it was freezing cold outside. I wanted to have a shot of the seagull with clouds and maybe the sun in the background.

What control do I have to get this shot? How can I control to get the bird in front of the cloud with the sun behind it? How can I control that I have the live that I envision? I absolutely can’t there are just too many variables. But can I let this get to me? Can I let it get to me if I do not get the image of the bird, the cloud and the sun? No, I would shoot something else. Since I have no control over the outcome all I can do is do my best. I can sit on the rooftop, freeze my butt off and hope for the best. And while I am waiting I am having fun with the process.

After 30 minuets a seagull flew by. I followed it while I was shooting. And then it happened. There was the bird, the cloud and the sun behind it. When the shutter opened I knew I had exactly what I was looking for and it turned out to be one of my favorite blog images so far.

"Escape Darkness" Williamsburg/Brooklyn 02-29-08 at 05:17 PM.

 

Please check out my website at carstenfleck.com