The Best Things Come For Free (Part 4)

I am still outside on the upper deck. The by now cold wind is blowing in my face but I feel more alive than I have felt in a long time. It reminds me on the discussions I often had with my grandfather while I was a banker back in Germany.

My grandfather having lived through the first and actively having been part of the Second World War could not understand how I could be so depressed all the time. To him I had everything, a nice home, a secure job and a car.

At one of the many times he confronted me and was trying to understand what was going on with me I finally had an answer. I told him, “Grandpa there is nothing worse then a boring life. Yes you lived through horrible things, you saw people die right next to you many times and you were so hungry that you ate grass but while you lived through that you felt very alive. Any day could have been you last day. You appreciated every moment you had. I walk into this bank in the morning and know that nothing will happen all day. Nobody will fire me, nothing exciting will happen, all I can hope for is a bank robbery.” (In the five years I worked there I never got robbed! L)

There was no excitement and no adventure. While my grandfather had to fear for his life during the war I had to fear nothing, I was already dead.

"The Best Things Come For Free (Part 4)"East Of Manhattan/New York City 03-06-09 at 05:32 PM

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