Responding To The Inner Voice
Yesterday I went to “Best Buy”. I signed up for one of these reward programs with one of my credit cards a long time ago. After paying a way to high interest rate for way to long I accumulated enough points to receive a gift card for “Best Buy” for $ 100. --. Gift cards are always tricky because I usually spend more money then the gift card is worth.
Electronics stores are amazing because there are so many products to choose from. It is overwhelming. I was on a mission. I didn’t want to spend extra money and wanted to find something useful. Useful always means something I can use for my photography business. Something like a new cell phone cover, an electric stapler, software for the computer, some memory cards for one of my many cameras or some rechargeable batteries for my on camera flash.
I started on the ground floor and worked myself through many different departments. Maybe I should get another cover for my ipod or another hard drive for the computer to store all the blog images on, now I have it how about a paper shredder?
I am in the video game section. I am thinking, “If I just would have time for that”. There are not enough hours in the day for me anyway. Photography, yoga, gym, morning pages, kung fu and here comes another big one, this blog. On the other hand to me video games are amazing. How does somebody come up with these story lines and how much time must it take to program a game? To me some of these games are so creative and games have come a long way. I still remember when my father got my sister and me one of the first “Atari” game consoles and we played the game “Asteroids” for endless hours. I was always very bad at it but still it was a lot of fun.
I am looking around. There are the x-box, the Sony PS3 and Nintendo’s Wii consoles. Again I wonder how anybody can find the time to play these games. Then I look at the PSP (Play Station Portable). There is a white special edition that includes a Star Wars Battlefront game and a Darth Vader silkscreen on the system itself. Uhhh, Star Wars. The force be with you! What amazing movies, at least the first three that came out, in a sense so spiritual. Being Luke Skywalker that would be fun.
But I don’t have time for playing games anyway. I have to concentrate on my career, on doing the things I want to do and for that I need any available minuet. It’s time to grow up Carsten, time to focus and not to get sidetracked. On top of it the PSP is $ 199. -- Plus tax.
I keep on walking and find the perfect thing to buy. “Techtools” software that can help me to check and to repair my hard drives. That is exactly what I need, I want to make sure that all these hard drives that I have with these thousands of images are o.k. and the price $ 99. -- plus tax, perfect. Finally something that makes sense and helps to improve my business. I am ready to buy it.
Suddenly I stopped and I smiled. My insane inner voice really wanted to have the PSP System with the Star Wars Battlefront game and that stupid Darth Vader silkscreen printed on it. But that makes absolutely no sense, I really have no time for it, it is so expensive, what a ridiculous way to waist time that I don’t have…………
I smiled again. I walked over to one of the sales people and said, “I would like to get one of the PSP systems”. “Which one”, he asked. “The Star Wars Special Edition one”, I said. “Do you want to add an international guarantee?” the sales person asked. “No thanks”, I secretly was hoping that it would break as soon as possible.
My mind was still resisting but I knew I had no choice. My heart wanted this game. What our heart wants makes rarely sense. Many blog posts ago I made the commitment to only listen to what my heart wants no matter what. This is why I started smiling; I knew I had no choice.
I played for hours last night and even though as 28 years ago I’m really bad at it I’m having a great time. I am fighting as the Rebel Alliance for freedom and had already a couple of run-ins with Darth Vader that I always lose. Sense or non-sense, I am happy playing and I feel like I am Luke Skywalker.
"Following Your Inner Voice" Manhattan/Star Wars Battlefront game 06-17-08 at 11:56 PM
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